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Freakbikes, choppers, funnybikes, clownbikes, kustoms, tallbikes, swingbikes, lead sleds, chunkbikes, trashbikes, mutant bikes, tallbike jousting, cargo bikes, tallchoppers, and frankenbikes. This is a record of human-powered creativity in Chicago.


-'52 freakin'-
-vintage p-cola freakin-
-zany bikes of redmoon ii-
-zig anime-
-australia freakin'-
-rat patrol russia-
-vintage freakbikes ii-
-skunk's cloudbuster-
-bikes of burning man 07-
-pedal-powered crane-
-rat patrol belgium-
-jet rides-
-fat boy's bikes-
-vintage freakbikes-
-Steinlauf family 1920's-1960s-
-afghanistan tallbikin'-
-india tallbikin'-
-spain freakin'-
-not hard enough-
-porno squad-
-green machine-
-rolling bonfire-
-the human television network-
-zany bikes of redmoon-
-fatback bomber-
-two-wheeled tank-
-precious cargo-
-ghana's national tallbike-
-twang bang-
-trampoline trailer-
-san fran freakin'-
-wooden packrat-
-the loserbago-
-foley freakin'-
-n'awlins freakin'-
-schwinn cycle truck-
-the bike formerly known as the white elephant-
-trashbike 1-
-UV chopper 2-
-gateway drug-
-lee's bent 1-
-trout lake freakin-
-UV chopper 1-
-pipe bomb-
-unicyclin bear-
-a work in progress-
-the chopper-

-pride 07-
-death of a tallbike-
-st ratrick's day 07-
-guerilla floatilla 07-
-st. ratrick's 07-
-bike kill IV-
-hootenanny 06-
-ratification 06-
-5th annual st chino's run-
-sweethearts build day-
-madison art bike parade 06-
-slaughterama 06-
-guerilla flotilla 06-
-st ratrick's day 06-
-the buurn, maaaaan 05-
-rat rides 2005-
-black label bike kill iii-
-pedal pushers-
-ratification 05-
-Guerilla Flotilla 2005-
-St. Ratrick's Day 2005-
-2nd Annual St. Chino's Run-
-rats on the mass-
-gimp haulin'-
-rat patrol vs. human television network-
-monkey tag ride-
-stockyards ride-
-build day 112004-
-magic bean ride-
-puke ride-
-ratification 04-
-rat rides 2004-
-rat race 04-
-clunker classic III-
-ghana freakin'-
-st. ratrick's day 03-
-the stingray kids-
-may day 2003-
-the scallywags come to chicago critical mass-
-a rat retreat to the redneck riviera-
-a visit from the BLBC-
-rat rides 2003-
-rat rides 2002-

-can't you read?-
-rat trikes-
-scratch-made arc welder-



Email and Submissions: johnny@rat-patrol.org

The 5th Annual St. Chino's Run

The St. Chino's run is an annual tallbike ride from the Hard Times Cafe to Stillwater to camp on the banks of the St. Croix in Wisconsin, a 75 mile round trip. There are usually between 75-100 tallbikers from clubs from around the country, and it's hosted by the Black Label Bike Club.

Photos by Stacee Droege except those marked "Mark Black" or "Claire"

First we had to prepare our transportation for the trip:

Pickle Rat.

Stacee and Biggles from Klunker League Now.

A stop at someone's parents afforded an opportunity to smoke a hookah with Moms. (Claire)

When you get into town you gotta put your bike together and ride to the Hard Times.

We told McD: "Okay, give me naked and surprised"

All loaded up and ready to go. Photo by Mark Black.

SOMEbody's untested sissy bar broke and so an $80 torque wrench became a splint.

Jumbly Rat is so nurturing. Bag wine from the bosom. (Claire)

The rain kept out the riff-raff.

Yes he rode that thing 40 miles.

Patches formerly known as Matches rode her tallbike down from Winnepeg for the event.


The Cutthroats are always stylin.

Suspicious plant growing at the grain elevator.

Club portrait at the World's Largest Snowman.

Doyle & Grandma at the doll hospital.

Joey Jello of RP Nashville. Come down to Nashville for the Hootenanny on September 15th!

When we got to Stillwater, the cops swarmed in and started nabbing as many of us as they could for no reason. They charged us with Criminal Reckless Driving, which is usually a traffic violation unless there is property damage or injury. Biggles got offered a plea bargain that was a fine with a suspended jail sentence! Jail time for riding your tallbike down a hill?!?!?!?

Soon, however, we were safely in Wisconsin.

Photo by Mark Black.

Biggles brought 50 lbs of buffalo that his dad had shot with black powder. We ate like kings! There were buffalo fajitas...

...and buffalo omelets for lunch. Our blood-to-buffalo ratio was reaching the legal limit.

Tallbike as tentpost.

Good ole Scally Mike, by Mark Black.

Surly Rat.

J. Stanley.

Drinky Rat still had his head split open in three places from a gentlemanly debate at a 6/6/6 party regarding the legitimacy of noise music as music. Prima-facie was presented to the lead singer, who delivered QED to the dome with the microphone.

Also on the trip an attendee, in his drunken state, believed that an adjacent Black Label lady requested that he grab her breast. Apparently that was NOT what she said, and she expressed her displeasure by breaking a 40 oz bottle into his face. What's Chino's without a trip to the hospital?

McD, Scaredy Rat, Stacee, by Mark Black.

A trip into town afforded the opportunity to peruse some junk- er, I mean, antique stores. Ain't Jumbly Rat cute?

Mmmm, whisky train!

"These are on the loading dock so that means they're free, right?"

Hey, that's quite enough of that! (Mark Black)

This Cutthroat came into our camp and kicked over our shit. I think it was Laurie Forty. We kicked her ass.

In which a Rat learns the complications of passing out drunk with one's shoes on. Biggles woke up with "Scallywags" written on an intimate part of his body. I'm sure it was them who done it. (Claire)

The rest of the night was just drinkin', dancin', nekkidness, and camraderie. (Claire)

Ah, Chino's. Good times.


See more of Claire's pictures here.