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Freakbikes, choppers, funnybikes, clownbikes, kustoms, tallbikes, swingbikes, lead sleds, chunkbikes, trashbikes, mutant bikes, tallbike jousting, cargo bikes, tallchoppers, and frankenbikes. This is a record of human-powered creativity in Chicago.


-'52 freakin'-
-vintage p-cola freakin-
-zany bikes of redmoon ii-
-zig anime-
-australia freakin'-
-rat patrol russia-
-vintage freakbikes ii-
-skunk's cloudbuster-
-bikes of burning man 07-
-pedal-powered crane-
-rat patrol belgium-
-jet rides-
-fat boy's bikes-
-vintage freakbikes-
-Steinlauf family 1920's-1960s-
-afghanistan tallbikin'-
-india tallbikin'-
-spain freakin'-
-not hard enough-
-porno squad-
-green machine-
-rolling bonfire-
-the human television network-
-zany bikes of redmoon-
-fatback bomber-
-two-wheeled tank-
-precious cargo-
-ghana's national tallbike-
-twang bang-
-trampoline trailer-
-san fran freakin'-
-wooden packrat-
-the loserbago-
-foley freakin'-
-n'awlins freakin'-
-schwinn cycle truck-
-the bike formerly known as the white elephant-
-trashbike 1-
-UV chopper 2-
-gateway drug-
-lee's bent 1-
-trout lake freakin-
-UV chopper 1-
-pipe bomb-
-unicyclin bear-
-a work in progress-
-the chopper-

-pride 07-
-death of a tallbike-
-st ratrick's day 07-
-guerilla floatilla 07-
-st. ratrick's 07-
-bike kill IV-
-hootenanny 06-
-ratification 06-
-5th annual st chino's run-
-sweethearts build day-
-madison art bike parade 06-
-slaughterama 06-
-guerilla flotilla 06-
-st ratrick's day 06-
-the buurn, maaaaan 05-
-rat rides 2005-
-black label bike kill iii-
-pedal pushers-
-ratification 05-
-Guerilla Flotilla 2005-
-St. Ratrick's Day 2005-
-2nd Annual St. Chino's Run-
-rats on the mass-
-gimp haulin'-
-rat patrol vs. human television network-
-monkey tag ride-
-stockyards ride-
-build day 112004-
-magic bean ride-
-puke ride-
-ratification 04-
-rat rides 2004-
-rat race 04-
-clunker classic III-
-ghana freakin'-
-st. ratrick's day 03-
-the stingray kids-
-may day 2003-
-the scallywags come to chicago critical mass-
-a rat retreat to the redneck riviera-
-a visit from the BLBC-
-rat rides 2003-
-rat rides 2002-

-can't you read?-
-rat trikes-
-scratch-made arc welder-



Email and Submissions: johnny@rat-patrol.org

Ratification 04

To Ratify is to officially recognize. I wanted to let dedicated Rats know that someone was paying attention, so we made up a bunch of patches on the back of some upholstery cloth we found in the alley and gave them out. You could get awards for riding all winter, swearing on choppers for life, getting sent to the hospital by your bike, etc etc. There were also four coveted brass Rat Patrol belt-buckles to be won.

First came the Bloomingdale Steeplechase- a race on and around an abandoned elevated rail line. It used to have a public right-of-way at the base, which has since been taken over by development. But we set out to reclaim it, even if we had to huck our bikes over a few fences. A long, legal route was provided- but victory went to the bravest and sneakiest.

The Bloomingdale line offers a skinny strip of wilderness in the midst of tall buildings. Just don't go up there at night, you'll get shanked!

Sir Thomas Long took the yellow leader jersey, coming in first on his shortbike cruiser Grandpa.

Jim the Tallbiking Lawyer was the first to come in on a freakbike, taking the Brass Buckle.

Scaredy Rat finished despite losing a crank.

Teach those kiddies to tresspass early! We had to skedaddle after this because some bums set a mattress on fire.

Then we had a fashion show, for Best Colors.

Scaredy Rat explains the benefits of her colors, modeled by Sho' Nasty.

Scaredy Rat won, taking the second Brass Buckle.

We awarded the Red Rat of Courage to any cyclist who'd been sent to the hospital by a bike accident. There were way too many of these. McD got one for breaking his ankle while tallbike dogfighting.

Scam lost a fingertip between a cog and a chain. Here he shows off his prosthetic pirate hook.

The Choppapillar was voted Rattiest Rat Bike. You'd have to see this bike up close to appreciate what a truly shitty piece of crap it is. He took home the third brass belt buckle... until someone builds a shoddier bike.