Met a crazy guy on the train who claimed to have invented the reverse microwave. He had a lot of other claims as well. I eventually had to resort to propositioning him for sex just to get him to leave us alone.

Got way too drunk and then sick from the swaying and the speeding up, slowing down, sway sway...

Had a quick dinner in N'awlins with Chopper Bob's friend... soft-shell crab.

Arrived in Foley AL at 2 AM Sunday, having left 8 PM Friday... stopped in on my cousin's friends who had an amazing collection of ash trays.

The next day, Matt the Rat and Chopper Bob and I practiced some welding down at the shop. We practiced on Oxy/Acetaline and arc, but they have MIG and TIG as well... in fact, my grandpa had the first TIG welder in Baldwin county, meaning he was the only person who could weld aluminum. He still uses it today.

Went to Souvineir City and looked at the crap, including a bumper sticker that said, "IF I'D KNOWN THIS I WOULDA PICKED MY OWN COTTON".

Hit up a Waffle House (by Bob's request) and played all the waffle-themed songs on the jukebox. Some good ole boy with cowboy boots and hat came in and started singing along to Under the Boardwalk.

Spent the evening at a redneck tiki bar. The tables were wire spools wrapped in rattan.

You know what? They have stars here.

Bought about ten pounds of crawdads at $1.29 a pound, and was subsequently shamed by Chopper Bob's superior tail-pinching and head-sucking skills. He schooled me in my own grandma's house, how cruel.

We went fishing and then joyriding on my grandpa's 1939 Farmall A tractor. He exclaimed, "It's not an antique, it's from 1939!"

Spent the evening at my aunt's house where I met another damn cousin.

The next day I made sure to jump in the sea.

We had to take CB to New Orleans again so we hung out a bit in the French Quarter. That place is like a thin layer of chocolate wrapped around a turd. I guess you have to be shitfaced to appreciate it. My big goal was to see some chicks with dicks but those establisments seemed to have closed or moved since I was there last.

I did take the ferry to Algiers Point, though, fulfilling my deep love of mass transit.

We tried to visit Mardi Gras World, the place where they store the floats the rest of the year, but arrived as soon as they were locking up. So instead we dived in their dumpster and got as many mardi gras beads as we could carry. Must come up with some use for them.

Since MtR left I've just been helping out on the farm. Right now they're selling onions, rutabagas, cabbages, and honey.

Today I planted a lemon tree.