Ever notice that Count Chocula is not, in fact, a vampire? He's a Count all right, his lineage is not in question here, just his bloodsuckery. In theory he's a vampire who sucks chocolate rather than blood, but chocolate-sucking must not require fangs, because he ain't got 'em. Some people think he has one fang, but really he's just got two buck teeth, stuck together. This was probably a move to make him look less harmless, since you never see vampires with two adjacent fangs.

They toned him down again in 1988, when controversy erupted as Jews objected to his Star-of-David-like medallion. Wouldn't want your people to be connected to chocolate-sucking vampires, you know. Yet countless homosexual men found a role model in Frankenberry, who showed that you could be big and reanimated and a sissy at the same time. But damn, Boo Berry sure looked sad all the time. Must be because he's dead, although so were Frankenberry and the Count at one time. Perhaps he's jealous that he's no longer corporeal.

He should count his blessings, though. Nobody knows where Fruit Brute and the Fruity Yummy Mummy are.