As St. Ratrick's Day approaches, the Rat Patrol has been scurrying about trying to prepare. There are palms to grease down at the Plumber's Union to get us into the parade. Red tape to jump through. Ads for the ad book to design. Writing a description of our gang to be read on TV. Flags and banners to be made. Jackets to have tails attached to. Find places to stay for the folks from other gangs who are coming to Chicago to represent. At least four build days- so many bikes to be welded! Assign unridden choppers to unchoppered rats! Practice riding a tallbike with a flagpole attached! And the instructions for the parade say we're "strongly encouraged to attend mass at St. Patrick's Cathedral," the first time I've ever been threatened that I better attend church or else.

Speaking of church, I visited the JPUSA compound, where 500 Christian punks, hippies, and crusties live and work, and discovered that they are decidedly not a cult, despite what the Chicago Tribune says. They've got a pretty slick operation going on over there- full screenprinting shop, skate ramp, recording studio, gym, bike shop, and school for homeschooling their kids. Not to mention the living facilities for them and their homeless and senior programs. You can see some of it at chicagofreakbike when I feature their build day. They have this two-story Jesus on the cross that they use in their Easter pageant, and while test-riding bikes, one girl ran into it and it slowly toppled over onto her... last thing she saw was Jesus, coming down at her. She was alright though.

On top of this, I have a wedding to prepare for. Well, at least I don't have to plan it, I'm just going to marry the couple. But that involves registering with the probate judge of that county and obtaining the certificate and all other sorts of red tape. In the process I discovered that I can also perform an "Affirmation of Marriage" for my nontraditional straight and traditional gay friends. Bow before me, lest I unity you all in matrimony! Muahahahahahah!!!