The Steampunk World
Here's a story I heard long ago, possibly even true:
My friend Berber went to Jungle Jim's in Fairfield, Ohio. This is one of those mega-ethnic supermarkets that has an aisle for each part of the world and stocks food for foreigners who can't get their ingredients anywhere else, or for wacky college students who want to try new things/make fun of bizarre products. But Jungle Jim is a nut, he roller-skates around the store, ships palm trees to Ohio every spring to have them die each fall, and was once busted for shipping more than coffee from Columbia, if you catch my drift.
He has the store done up in a jungle theme. When Showbiz Pizza was bought by Chuck-E-Cheez, a coupla restaurants went out of business and Jim bought up all the animatronics. So there's a big lion in there that's dressed like Elvis, and in the seafood section he actually moved a 40-foot yaht in there and stuck an animatronic band on deck dressed like crabs and fish. Weird stuff. They have a gigantic remaindered alcohol section- a good place to get Peanut-Butter-N-Jelly Schnapps or "Pink Passion Everclear" which is sugared wine that comes in a 2-liter for 59 cents- great for the kiddies! Also local home-brewers come and give samples for their beers, but due to some weird law you have to pay a dime for every shot glass of beer. Ooh, and they always feature a cheese scuplture in the dairy section- like a 6-foot cheddar gorilla or a Gorgonzola Canoe. It's worth going there even if you don't shop. I've always wanted to sneak in wearing an ape outfit and just start throwing fruit, making a ruckus... everybody'd think I worked there.
So Berber, like many visitors, decides to pick one item from an ethnic aisle just for kicks. He chooses the Chinese aisle, and picks a candy bar. While he's waiting in line at the register (Jungle Jim doesn't sell tabloids after what they did to Lady Di) he decides to start munching on the candy bar. It's nasty, of course, most snacks from other cultures are entirely unappealing. But he notices a little old chinese guy staring at him from the next checkout lane, jaw agape. Berber gives him a "what?" look and the guy says:
My friend Berber went to Jungle Jim's in Fairfield, Ohio. This is one of those mega-ethnic supermarkets that has an aisle for each part of the world and stocks food for foreigners who can't get their ingredients anywhere else, or for wacky college students who want to try new things/make fun of bizarre products. But Jungle Jim is a nut, he roller-skates around the store, ships palm trees to Ohio every spring to have them die each fall, and was once busted for shipping more than coffee from Columbia, if you catch my drift.
He has the store done up in a jungle theme. When Showbiz Pizza was bought by Chuck-E-Cheez, a coupla restaurants went out of business and Jim bought up all the animatronics. So there's a big lion in there that's dressed like Elvis, and in the seafood section he actually moved a 40-foot yaht in there and stuck an animatronic band on deck dressed like crabs and fish. Weird stuff. They have a gigantic remaindered alcohol section- a good place to get Peanut-Butter-N-Jelly Schnapps or "Pink Passion Everclear" which is sugared wine that comes in a 2-liter for 59 cents- great for the kiddies! Also local home-brewers come and give samples for their beers, but due to some weird law you have to pay a dime for every shot glass of beer. Ooh, and they always feature a cheese scuplture in the dairy section- like a 6-foot cheddar gorilla or a Gorgonzola Canoe. It's worth going there even if you don't shop. I've always wanted to sneak in wearing an ape outfit and just start throwing fruit, making a ruckus... everybody'd think I worked there.
So Berber, like many visitors, decides to pick one item from an ethnic aisle just for kicks. He chooses the Chinese aisle, and picks a candy bar. While he's waiting in line at the register (Jungle Jim doesn't sell tabloids after what they did to Lady Di) he decides to start munching on the candy bar. It's nasty, of course, most snacks from other cultures are entirely unappealing. But he notices a little old chinese guy staring at him from the next checkout lane, jaw agape. Berber gives him a "what?" look and the guy says:
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