The Portland train station was typical- vaulted ceilings, lots of detail, a remnant of when travel by rail was the way to go, instead of just a well-kept secret by those who know how to travel in style. I had two choices, actually, to get to Seattle- the Coastal Starlight or the Cascades. I deliberately took the Cascades because it is famous in train circles- a very unique, very European train, unlike any other in the Amtrak fleet.

The train itself sits very low to the ground. Most noticeable are the giant fins coming down behind the locomotive and jutting out of the end. The train looks like a giant 1950s cadillac. I tried to take a picture that showed that they were fins and not a bump, so if you look you can barely see them.

I knew I was in for a shwanky ride when I saw the digital readout on each car. Inside, there were four televisions per car instead of just two in the observation car. The monitors showed where we were on the route when the movie wasn't playing, and little bars across the bottom would pop up over the movie to indicate upcoming sights. And oh the bar car! It was very nice and, naturally, where I spent my entire four-hour ride.



Painted on the roof was a lit map of the cascades mountain range. Sheee-wank! From those windows I saw the mountains, and then clouds above them, and then above THAT, a gigantic peak! I thought I was seeing things but the bartender confirmed that it was Ranier, namesake of the cheap beer I had been encouraged to drink by my brother. Two out of four peaks, not bad for wintertime.

The ride was entirely too short. I arrived at the Seattle station and met Humbaba, who was exactly like I'd imagined but perhaps a tad geekier. His words in text must disguise the fact that he's as much of a geek as you or I. The Seattle station had installed a drop-in ceiling over its wonderful vaulted one, and there were even windows in it that said look at the cool old ceiling! It could be restored as soon as 2000!

We had a drink (I had "Dirty Olive Gin", highly recommended if you like your martinis dirty), drove around looking at the city (the space needle is much smaller than you'd think and the Starbucks head peers down over the city with exactly the sense of doom and dominance you'd expect), went to his house (you could tell his block by all the frickin VW buses parked on the street), had another drink from his massive collection of likker, and then went Vista Cruisin'.

This, my friends, was an experience. The Vista Cruiser was truly a luxury boat. I sat in the rear to get the full Vista experience, and I even had my own set of sun-visors back there. We got some fish burritos and headed back to watch some of the bonus material from the LOTR box set. His wife is a sharp one, real on the ball, as I'd imagine you'd have to be to keep Humbaba in his place. The kids were cute and well behaved, and I must say I've never seen any man in my entire life so excited about his kids as Humbaba. They will never be neglected.

The next morning I stood with him a bit in line for The Two Towers. It was right under the monorail, which I was of course very pleased by. As far as mass transit goes, it sucks, because it only has two stops. But I had to appreciate the train itself. Apparently they've just voted in more monorail, which is good. Here in Chicago they're thinking of bringing back the trolleys. People seem to think that the idea of not rotting in traffic to get to work is so crazy that the only way to justify it is to make it ultra-futuristic or ultra-nostalgic.

I didn't have time to ride a ferry, which is a truly novel form of mass transit to me. That and a gondola. Oh, well, just a few more items on the checklist for this Mass Transit Tourist.