What I Smelled Today

I have this incense called "Rarest Essense of the Classic Floral Blend". It smells exactly like elephant poo. More specifically, it smells like the elephant house at the zoo- that ripe combination of urine, musk, and poo that triggers in my brain memories of school field trips and of my parents complaining about how much they have to walk on vacation.

I don't know why they make elephant house incense. I suspect that somewhere in India, a village of Untouchables is standing on ladders, drawing little sticks from a basket and poking them one by one up an elephant's butt. They all snicker at the thought of gullible Westerners burning poo in their house like they sometimes do to others as a practical joke. It's their latest joke on our hemisphere since they convinced us that "Dood" was a word for "cool guy".