How To Sign Up For Cable Modem Service
in 100 easy steps!

1) Call the company you would like to do business with.
2) Wait on hold
3) Be told that they do not service your area.
4) Ask who does
5) Be told they don't know, but it's probably AT&T Manhand.
6) Go to AT&T Manhand website
7) Find that there are no phone numbers listed there.
8) Look in the yellow pages, under "internet"
9) Find that there's nothing there
10) Look under "cable"
11) Find "see television"
12) Look under "television"
13) Find an entry that says, "See our ad this page"
14) Find that ad reads "live customer service 24-7"
15) Call the number
16) Listen to "number out of service" message
17) Call 411
18) Get new number
19) Call new number
20) Listen to "our offices are now closed" message
21) Call back during the week
22) Wait on hold
23) Find that the number given is not my local office
24) Wait on hold for them to transfer
25) Spend 30 minutes with CSR discussing options, entering information, setting up installation appointment
26) Wait 2 weeks
27) Stay home from work waiting for cable guy, making sure not to leave the house during the four-hour period
28) Wait until you give up and realize he's not coming
29) Call back
30) Wait on hold
31) Tell rep your problem
32) Wait on hold while you're transferred to correct department
33) Explain situation to rep
34) Give information to be looked up
35) Be told that there's no reason noted why the tech didn't show
36) Hold while they set up another date and time
37) Be told that the tech didn't show because they don't service your area
38) Ask why they made you set up a time and stay home from work before they figured that out
39) Listen to clueless CSR mumble something about the computer
40) Hang up
41) Call back
42) Wait on hold
43) Listen to see if new rep is a mouth-breather
44) Explain problem
45) Give all the information
46) Hold while it's investigated
47) Be told that your address needs to be entered into the system by filling out a "serviceability" form
48) Hold while rep gets form
49) Give rep info for form
50) Wait 72 hours until address is entered
51) Receive call from rep to schedule time
52) Schedule time
53) Wait 2 weeks

to be continued...