The Steampunk World
My Grammaw Fern bought me a gift certificate to a restaurant called Heaven on 7, the "best cajun restaurant outside of New Orleans". I tell you, from what I tasted, I agree.
I knew I was in the right place when I entered and saw that the walls were covered from floor to ceiling with racks of hot sauce. If you bring one in they don't have, they'll put it up. Each table had no less than 24 hot sauce bottles on it, ranging of course from mild to "Mmmm... incapacitating." They of course have their own varieties as well, which you should check out on the website because of the hilarious pictures of the restaurant's founder going through successive stages of suffering according to each bottle's contents.
I started out with a Cajun Martini: Habanero Vodka, straight-up, with a cherry pepper floating in it. Then as an appetizer I chose a dish called "HOT AS A MUTHA." It was hilarious- they brought me out a full-size plate. In the center of the plate was a single habanero pepper, stuffed with cheese and peppers and then breaded and fried. I'd take a teeny bite, moan in that odd mixture of pleasure and pain that is common to hot-food fans and S&M enthusiasts (I wonder what the S&M community thinks about people who self-inflict through pepper consumption?), and then take a big swig of my martini, which tasted just about like siphoning a tank of gas and not turning the hose downward in time. Then I'd scream again and reach for the water, which the waiters were wise enough to keep refilling every 30 seconds. The water, of course, didn't help.
As a lagniappe, a round of gumbo, the smell of which is the origin of the "Heaven" in the restaurant's name. It was too good to alter with a single drop of sauce. For a main course I got a sampler, which included red beans & rice, some jambalaya, a bit of andouille, and the best damn collard greens I have ever had in my life. It was upon this sampler that I inflicted the sauces.
I have found a new favorite restaurant in town. I'm gonna go back next time and eat nothing but collard greens, jalepeno cheddar corn bread, and cheese grits. The only new sauce I tried that I really liked was Aspirin ("For relief of bland foods") which has a little garlic and ginger in it and was quite unique.
If you go to Heaven On Seven, a few tips. Above all, try the gumbo. It's their motto: "People who come back from heaven all say the same thing: Try the gumbo." Also, don't pick up the hot sauce bottles by the caps, because it doesn't take much of the deadlier variety to burn you. If you do have hot stuff, wash your hands BEFORE you go pee. And after you leave, remember, it's gonna burn twice.
*The hottest sauce I've ever had was also the tastiest, this homemade stuff that a Mexican friend of my grandpa's made. He gave me a teeny little dish of it that lasted quite a while. Like with the habanero, irresistable taste and unbearable heat are a deadly combination.
I knew I was in the right place when I entered and saw that the walls were covered from floor to ceiling with racks of hot sauce. If you bring one in they don't have, they'll put it up. Each table had no less than 24 hot sauce bottles on it, ranging of course from mild to "Mmmm... incapacitating." They of course have their own varieties as well, which you should check out on the website because of the hilarious pictures of the restaurant's founder going through successive stages of suffering according to each bottle's contents.
Hot Sauce aside: First off, I flat-out ignore a sauce that is all heat and no taste. While I admit that I enjoy the endorphin high associated with hot sauce consumption, and that high is probably what addicts me to hot foods, without a tasty flavor I might as well just slam my hand in a door for the same effect. So I immediately set three or four of the table's bottles to the side. Secondly, for the unfamiliar Scoville Units are a rating of the "heat" of a sauce. Pepperocinis are where the heat starts with 100-500 SUs, Jalapeno 2.5K-5K, Cayenne 30k-50k, Habanero 100k-350k, and Mace and other pepper sprays start at 1 million. The hottest commercially available* stuff I've ever had is Blair's 2AM Reserve, at 692k (I consider PureCap to be an additive and not a sauce). Thirdly, unfortunately the resistance I've built up is only to capsaicin, so "hot" stuff that doesn't derive its heat from capsaicin absolutely blows me away. But to sum up, I'm not happy at the dinner table unless I'm sweating, and I never sacrifice taste for heat.
I started out with a Cajun Martini: Habanero Vodka, straight-up, with a cherry pepper floating in it. Then as an appetizer I chose a dish called "HOT AS A MUTHA." It was hilarious- they brought me out a full-size plate. In the center of the plate was a single habanero pepper, stuffed with cheese and peppers and then breaded and fried. I'd take a teeny bite, moan in that odd mixture of pleasure and pain that is common to hot-food fans and S&M enthusiasts (I wonder what the S&M community thinks about people who self-inflict through pepper consumption?), and then take a big swig of my martini, which tasted just about like siphoning a tank of gas and not turning the hose downward in time. Then I'd scream again and reach for the water, which the waiters were wise enough to keep refilling every 30 seconds. The water, of course, didn't help.
As a lagniappe, a round of gumbo, the smell of which is the origin of the "Heaven" in the restaurant's name. It was too good to alter with a single drop of sauce. For a main course I got a sampler, which included red beans & rice, some jambalaya, a bit of andouille, and the best damn collard greens I have ever had in my life. It was upon this sampler that I inflicted the sauces.
I have found a new favorite restaurant in town. I'm gonna go back next time and eat nothing but collard greens, jalepeno cheddar corn bread, and cheese grits. The only new sauce I tried that I really liked was Aspirin ("For relief of bland foods") which has a little garlic and ginger in it and was quite unique.
If you go to Heaven On Seven, a few tips. Above all, try the gumbo. It's their motto: "People who come back from heaven all say the same thing: Try the gumbo." Also, don't pick up the hot sauce bottles by the caps, because it doesn't take much of the deadlier variety to burn you. If you do have hot stuff, wash your hands BEFORE you go pee. And after you leave, remember, it's gonna burn twice.
*The hottest sauce I've ever had was also the tastiest, this homemade stuff that a Mexican friend of my grandpa's made. He gave me a teeny little dish of it that lasted quite a while. Like with the habanero, irresistable taste and unbearable heat are a deadly combination.
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