The Steampunk World
You can't make this shit up
You've probably heard about how Microsoft is suing a children's charity because they distribute old donated computers and can't afford the $A600-per-PC individual license for the Microsoft software on them- but did you know that the software in question is Windows 3.11?!?!?! Bwaaaa haaa haaa!!! They're suing a children's charity, which gives used PCs to underpriveledged kids for free, because the PCs have WINDOWS FREAKIN' 3.11 on them!!!!!!! There is no depth to this company's chutzpah. That's like... oh, let me think of a similarly ridiculous situation... how about a movie production studio suing over a public viewing of Manos... the Hands of Fate (just about the worst movie I can think of) where they don't charge any money for admission but they do let poor kids see it... there's a technical, legal right, but the product is so crappy and old that it has effectively zero value. When I first moved here, I was tempin' for a few weeks, and I worked at this office that was running 3.11. I had to teach myself to use it again. It was as if I had enjoyed wearing lipstick for many years and was all of the sudden forced to go back to smearing raw human placenta on my face. Like with Windows 2000, the nasty shit's still in the lipstick but at least it's processed a bit.
So anyway, poor poor Bill must be struggling (he had to add a bedroom to his house you know) so be sure to donate your dollar to Bill.
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In a related degree of ballsyness, the Hooterhumper is all huffy this week because he wants to take off for much longer than he has vacation time for. Y'see, he's an actor (he was the whiteboy receiver in Remember The Titans) and he just got this gig doing a commercial for a Nintendo game, "Ultimate Evil" or "Evil Incarnate" or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" or some similarly uncreative video game name. The commercial itself sounds like it will be pretty funny so I'll give you the link when it goes up online. However, Hooterhumper's gotta fly to L.A. for a week to film it, but boo hoo hoo! His job won't pay him to take off work to go work another job for a week and then come back to this job! So he threatened to quit but since he's that guy in the office who totally scams up false results but there's never any followup since the boss is only concerned about the numbers on her report to her boss so he gets away with it until somebody catches him (which would involve a complicated audit of his job which ain't happenin') I think the boss is going to cave and let him have the time off. He's very convincing, you know, the type who always construes himself as the victim who you've just got to help. Once he was actually pitching soy nuts, second-grade-bully-like, across the cubeway at the-guy-who-you're-afraid-is-going-to-snap-any-minute when the guy came over and told him to stop. Hooterhumper had it all worked out about how HE was the victim because HE was forced to throw things at coworkers because their personal habits bugged him. Oh, and then there was the one where he didn't want his half day to count because he had to pick up his girlfriend at the airport- shouldn't that excuse his absence and allow him to get paid for being here? His argument was that if he had lied and said he was sick, it would have counted as a sick day, so he shouldn't be punished for telling the truth. Oh, and the time that he wanted an advance on his sick days, which accrue at a certain rate, so that he could take time off for some sort of planned illness despite the fact that he'd already been "sick" as much as the company allowed. But the big mean nasty company wouldn't give him an advance, and now they won't pay him to go work another job for a week. There just ain't no justice in this world!
You've probably heard about how Microsoft is suing a children's charity because they distribute old donated computers and can't afford the $A600-per-PC individual license for the Microsoft software on them- but did you know that the software in question is Windows 3.11?!?!?! Bwaaaa haaa haaa!!! They're suing a children's charity, which gives used PCs to underpriveledged kids for free, because the PCs have WINDOWS FREAKIN' 3.11 on them!!!!!!! There is no depth to this company's chutzpah. That's like... oh, let me think of a similarly ridiculous situation... how about a movie production studio suing over a public viewing of Manos... the Hands of Fate (just about the worst movie I can think of) where they don't charge any money for admission but they do let poor kids see it... there's a technical, legal right, but the product is so crappy and old that it has effectively zero value. When I first moved here, I was tempin' for a few weeks, and I worked at this office that was running 3.11. I had to teach myself to use it again. It was as if I had enjoyed wearing lipstick for many years and was all of the sudden forced to go back to smearing raw human placenta on my face. Like with Windows 2000, the nasty shit's still in the lipstick but at least it's processed a bit.
So anyway, poor poor Bill must be struggling (he had to add a bedroom to his house you know) so be sure to donate your dollar to Bill.
---
In a related degree of ballsyness, the Hooterhumper is all huffy this week because he wants to take off for much longer than he has vacation time for. Y'see, he's an actor (he was the whiteboy receiver in Remember The Titans) and he just got this gig doing a commercial for a Nintendo game, "Ultimate Evil" or "Evil Incarnate" or "I Can't Believe It's Not Evil" or some similarly uncreative video game name. The commercial itself sounds like it will be pretty funny so I'll give you the link when it goes up online. However, Hooterhumper's gotta fly to L.A. for a week to film it, but boo hoo hoo! His job won't pay him to take off work to go work another job for a week and then come back to this job! So he threatened to quit but since he's that guy in the office who totally scams up false results but there's never any followup since the boss is only concerned about the numbers on her report to her boss so he gets away with it until somebody catches him (which would involve a complicated audit of his job which ain't happenin') I think the boss is going to cave and let him have the time off. He's very convincing, you know, the type who always construes himself as the victim who you've just got to help. Once he was actually pitching soy nuts, second-grade-bully-like, across the cubeway at the-guy-who-you're-afraid-is-going-to-snap-any-minute when the guy came over and told him to stop. Hooterhumper had it all worked out about how HE was the victim because HE was forced to throw things at coworkers because their personal habits bugged him. Oh, and then there was the one where he didn't want his half day to count because he had to pick up his girlfriend at the airport- shouldn't that excuse his absence and allow him to get paid for being here? His argument was that if he had lied and said he was sick, it would have counted as a sick day, so he shouldn't be punished for telling the truth. Oh, and the time that he wanted an advance on his sick days, which accrue at a certain rate, so that he could take time off for some sort of planned illness despite the fact that he'd already been "sick" as much as the company allowed. But the big mean nasty company wouldn't give him an advance, and now they won't pay him to go work another job for a week. There just ain't no justice in this world!
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