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Call 'em freakbikes, choppers, funnybikes, clownbikes, kustoms, tallbikes, swingbikes, lead sleds, chunkbikes, trashbikes, frankenbikes, or whatever you like, this is a record of human-powered creativity in Chicago.



-top of the mall-
-rat ride 073102-
-rat ride 082102-
-rat ride 100202-
-rat ride 110302-
-rat ride 120602-


-the chopper-
-a work in progress-
-unicyclin bear-
-unknown funnybike (pipe bomb)-
-unknown chopper (UV 1)-
-unknown angel-
-a kouple of kustoms-
-unknown trashbike 1 (tiger)-
-unknown funnybike 2 (trout lake freakin)-
-lee's bent 1-
-gateway drug-


-of mice and rats-



Email and Submissions: JohnnyPayphone@yahoo.com

ape hangers- Tall handlebars, defined in legislation outlawing them as handlebars that place your hands above your shoulders.
betamax chopper- a bike that is very skillfully built but lacks the aesthetic subtlety that makes a good ride. Better technology doesn't always mean better, thus Betamax Chopper.
Bonnie'n'Clyde- a tallbike propelled by a third wheel, named after the SCUL bike
chimp hangers- Short little apehangers, like off of a kid's bike.
chopper- any bike that has had part of its frame chopped, usually to extend the fork.
chopper crotch- the distinct feeling one gets after spending too long on a chopper.
clownbike- a smaller bike modified to fit an adult, aka funnybike.
critical ass- the point on a Critical Mass ride at which you can no longer ride your chopper.
gibbon hangers- handlebars that spread your arms way wide.
eyebology- the science of getting it right without using any measuring.
frame tensioner- when chain tension is maintained by a piece of the frame, which is gradually eaten away.
funnybike- a smaller bike modified to fit an adult, aka clownbike.
intimacy- the intrusiveness of a bike's seat.
mediumbike- with the introduction of trip-highs, tallbikes didn't seem so tall anymore, so we've taken to referring to them as mediumbikes.
nipper- a bike used to "nip" around the neighborhood.
nuggetbucket- helmet.
pixie- a bike even smaller than a funnybike, usually a Schwinn Pixie kept in its original configuration and ridden by an adult.
rake- the angle of the front fork and/or head tube.
robot wife- any bike where the addition of technology has negated the original purpose of the bike. Examples: A titanium chopper, a tallbike with brakes, a beach cruiser with 12 speeds.
russian bride- a chopper that's bought not built.
shortbike- any bike less than two frames high.
sidecar candy- a person whose purpose is so ornamental that they refuse to even pedal on the ride

sissy bar- a U-shaped bar that functions as a backrest.
sled- a bike extended horizontally.
smalltall- a tallbike that's shorter than a mediumbike but taller than a shortbike.
swingbike- a bike with an extra hinge, usually an extra head tube under the seat.
tallbike- any bike extended vertically, usually by stacking two or more diamond frames.
trailer queen- a bike that's never ridden.
trip-high- a three-frame tallbike.

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