The Steampunk World
Feeling much better, though I am taking more pills than Rick James and am anemic- blood tests reveal that the parasite ate more than 50% of my red blood cells.
They also reveal that I am HIV negative, I'm glad to say.
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Saw a hand-painted sign: "DON'T SHIT HERE"
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This trip is breaking down my ego to the bare rock, splitting me up, forcing me to confront each of my flaws, forbidding me from having it be the way I want but rather shoving my face in the raw reality of that way, the way it is. My instinct is to flee but I realize that I haven't broken through, I'm still fighting it, and to quit now would fail myself as well as the center.
Much to my frustration I discover that I still suffer from the consuming urge, though the scale has changed. You've heard me complain here that I eat the same thing all the time? Well that's what the world does, except for rich bastards like me. I discover what a luxury clean water and toilet paper are. I live with three adults and a 5-month old, but the fact that I have my own room puts me better off than most people. I'm forced to accept a vastly different idea of personal posession.
Most of the time it's just me and Africa, the red dirt and the green bush and the big blue sky, and I say, "I matter! I control my reality!" and Africa just sits there, chirping and hooting and growing. Or it's me, Africa, and the rain, who must have something against Africa because it beats the earth, as if every structure is a challenge, as its raindrops grow and fuse together and just become solid water, a temporary dunking. Africa doesn't give a damn about me.
For over a year now I have battled my desires, trying to live a disciplined life. I seem to get the most control around the first half of the year. I've stopped sleeping past 6, I eat only what I must, I'm celibate, and I approach the cool machinelike posthumanism of Johnny Payphone. But this just concentrates my humanity into Johnny Rattooth, who bursts out for a binge now and then. Can I stop my desire for beer and live here for free? For the first half of my trip, I've lived like an American in Ghana. Can I live the second half like a Ghanaian?
They also reveal that I am HIV negative, I'm glad to say.
---
Saw a hand-painted sign: "DON'T SHIT HERE"
---
This trip is breaking down my ego to the bare rock, splitting me up, forcing me to confront each of my flaws, forbidding me from having it be the way I want but rather shoving my face in the raw reality of that way, the way it is. My instinct is to flee but I realize that I haven't broken through, I'm still fighting it, and to quit now would fail myself as well as the center.
Much to my frustration I discover that I still suffer from the consuming urge, though the scale has changed. You've heard me complain here that I eat the same thing all the time? Well that's what the world does, except for rich bastards like me. I discover what a luxury clean water and toilet paper are. I live with three adults and a 5-month old, but the fact that I have my own room puts me better off than most people. I'm forced to accept a vastly different idea of personal posession.
Most of the time it's just me and Africa, the red dirt and the green bush and the big blue sky, and I say, "I matter! I control my reality!" and Africa just sits there, chirping and hooting and growing. Or it's me, Africa, and the rain, who must have something against Africa because it beats the earth, as if every structure is a challenge, as its raindrops grow and fuse together and just become solid water, a temporary dunking. Africa doesn't give a damn about me.
For over a year now I have battled my desires, trying to live a disciplined life. I seem to get the most control around the first half of the year. I've stopped sleeping past 6, I eat only what I must, I'm celibate, and I approach the cool machinelike posthumanism of Johnny Payphone. But this just concentrates my humanity into Johnny Rattooth, who bursts out for a binge now and then. Can I stop my desire for beer and live here for free? For the first half of my trip, I've lived like an American in Ghana. Can I live the second half like a Ghanaian?
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