The Steampunk World
I found myself riding a sidecar bike with a trailer this morning at 5:30 AM. I felt like an idiot. "What kind of person DOES this?" I grumbled to myself. I was hauling a chopper on the trailer and
one of the tires was flat. "Who shleps bikes around at 5:30 on a Sunday morning?" I was pissed and grouchy. This is a clue to success in the Tour- a good 80% of the challenge is making it to
the starting line.
"It's only 6 AM!" exclaimed a sleepy Chris, "Can't we wait a little before we leave?" Little did he know that we'd make it to Bubbly Dynamics at about 7:30, just in time to thaw our toes before the race.
The organizers of the race had chuckled heartily at my assurance that we wouldn't embarrass the shortbikers TOO much. "Ha ha ha, yes, go ahead, share answers, that's allowed, do as you like. Ha ha ha." Little did they know that this was a scavenger hunt, on Rat home turf... you don't come into our house and play our game and expect to win. Still, one of the items on the manifest, Heavy Thang, seemed to be changed at the last minute from a points-per-pound model to a flat 4 points. I'd like to think that the change was made the minute they saw
my sidecar.
The Rats made an impressive showing, and this was the key to our success. Dan, Andrea, Sarah and I registered, and we were supported by Matt, Alex, and Anna. Alex provided walkie-talkies
and we were all on freak bikes. As soon as we got the manifest, we divvied up the questions and sent the fast riders off to answer them and report back by radio. The manifest also gave point
values for certain found items: Shoe, glove, wino booze, empty 40 oz, railroad property, construction horse, church flyer, car tire, tumbleweed, and a bonus category: Big Thang and Heavy Thang. The top five heaviest and biggest items brought in would be given 4 points each, if one person got both the Biggest and the Heaviest there was an additional 2 points.
The race was on. A few blocks from Bubbly, I lucked into a bum nest. There I found many of my items- shoe, glove, wine bottle, 40. I began to build a stash, an important strategy in scavenger
hunts, and was riding away from it when I found a huuuuge truck tire. It was just barely skinny enough to fit in my sidecar but too long to sit down in it. It was also too massive for me to get a
good grip on and lift up. As I rolled it to my stash, I thought, "Fuck, how am I going to lift this into my bike?" Just then, on the horizon, three riders appeared like caballeros. It was Hans, Al,
and Mike! I was saved by the cavalry! I told them which items I lacked and we took turns guarding the stash. During this time, they found for me one of those giant wreaths that commercial buildings hang up for the holidays. It must have had a diameter of at least five feet.
My Heavy and Big Thangs secured, I began to hobble back to the finish line. The other Rats called in the answers and I filled out my manifest. While other racers were bringing stuff in and
heading out again, I hauled it all in at once. It was clear that I had the Heavy category locked up, but would I also have the biggest? Gareth was carrying around this huge tree branch, but I
never saw him with it on a bike. Perhaps the rules required you to actually ride with your finds.
When the points were counted, the Rat Patrol cleaned up. Sarah won 1st Female Overall (on her chopper!) as well as 3rd place overall (she was beaten by Gareth). Imagine my surprise when I
came in first! We even had the audacity to have Dan come in DFL, just to sweep the board!
Heck, it took Gareth, a Rat, just to crack our stranglehold on the top. The points were above and beyond. Check 'em out at:
tour.chicago.il.us
While all Rats interested in accumulating points were welcome to register, obviously we all worked as a team to push a few of us to the top. Heck, even the Scallywags showed up late and
helped us cheat! So my victory was a sort of going-away present, since all other freakbikers have plenty chance to steal the Blue Jersey away from me in the next four races. So to paraphrase Newton, "if I have ridden further, it is upon the bikes of rats".
one of the tires was flat. "Who shleps bikes around at 5:30 on a Sunday morning?" I was pissed and grouchy. This is a clue to success in the Tour- a good 80% of the challenge is making it to
the starting line.
"It's only 6 AM!" exclaimed a sleepy Chris, "Can't we wait a little before we leave?" Little did he know that we'd make it to Bubbly Dynamics at about 7:30, just in time to thaw our toes before the race.
The organizers of the race had chuckled heartily at my assurance that we wouldn't embarrass the shortbikers TOO much. "Ha ha ha, yes, go ahead, share answers, that's allowed, do as you like. Ha ha ha." Little did they know that this was a scavenger hunt, on Rat home turf... you don't come into our house and play our game and expect to win. Still, one of the items on the manifest, Heavy Thang, seemed to be changed at the last minute from a points-per-pound model to a flat 4 points. I'd like to think that the change was made the minute they saw
my sidecar.
The Rats made an impressive showing, and this was the key to our success. Dan, Andrea, Sarah and I registered, and we were supported by Matt, Alex, and Anna. Alex provided walkie-talkies
and we were all on freak bikes. As soon as we got the manifest, we divvied up the questions and sent the fast riders off to answer them and report back by radio. The manifest also gave point
values for certain found items: Shoe, glove, wino booze, empty 40 oz, railroad property, construction horse, church flyer, car tire, tumbleweed, and a bonus category: Big Thang and Heavy Thang. The top five heaviest and biggest items brought in would be given 4 points each, if one person got both the Biggest and the Heaviest there was an additional 2 points.
The race was on. A few blocks from Bubbly, I lucked into a bum nest. There I found many of my items- shoe, glove, wine bottle, 40. I began to build a stash, an important strategy in scavenger
hunts, and was riding away from it when I found a huuuuge truck tire. It was just barely skinny enough to fit in my sidecar but too long to sit down in it. It was also too massive for me to get a
good grip on and lift up. As I rolled it to my stash, I thought, "Fuck, how am I going to lift this into my bike?" Just then, on the horizon, three riders appeared like caballeros. It was Hans, Al,
and Mike! I was saved by the cavalry! I told them which items I lacked and we took turns guarding the stash. During this time, they found for me one of those giant wreaths that commercial buildings hang up for the holidays. It must have had a diameter of at least five feet.
My Heavy and Big Thangs secured, I began to hobble back to the finish line. The other Rats called in the answers and I filled out my manifest. While other racers were bringing stuff in and
heading out again, I hauled it all in at once. It was clear that I had the Heavy category locked up, but would I also have the biggest? Gareth was carrying around this huge tree branch, but I
never saw him with it on a bike. Perhaps the rules required you to actually ride with your finds.
When the points were counted, the Rat Patrol cleaned up. Sarah won 1st Female Overall (on her chopper!) as well as 3rd place overall (she was beaten by Gareth). Imagine my surprise when I
came in first! We even had the audacity to have Dan come in DFL, just to sweep the board!
Heck, it took Gareth, a Rat, just to crack our stranglehold on the top. The points were above and beyond. Check 'em out at:
tour.chicago.il.us
While all Rats interested in accumulating points were welcome to register, obviously we all worked as a team to push a few of us to the top. Heck, even the Scallywags showed up late and
helped us cheat! So my victory was a sort of going-away present, since all other freakbikers have plenty chance to steal the Blue Jersey away from me in the next four races. So to paraphrase Newton, "if I have ridden further, it is upon the bikes of rats".
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